what this all means to me is beyond comprehension at the present moment. i think i’m doing this as a way to remain sane, whilst attempting to delve deeper into the complexities of my own being. if i knew exactly what this was about and where it was all coming from, i don’t think i’d be here doing this right now.
it’s always been suggested that journaling is a way to reflect, learn, and grow. for me it may be the idea of going further than where i am at right now, to push beyond the mediocre and dwell on that which is far greater than the mere existence of my humanity. this all is a microcosm of a personal blog or journal of my own, and thoughts that come randomly to my mind. i’m not wanting to talk about greatness of the beauty of self in all of this, but of what life presents and how that in turn molds the individual. there are vast ideas, both theological and practical which are full of longing, as well as events of so-called human nature which cause the pondering of the mind. there is not enough space for my little brain to contain this, so perhaps this is a measure of memory storage as well.
life is by no means, and never quite will be, easy. it does however provoke the soul of the individual to ponder and ask questions of the one who creates and has created. and those questions are longing, ever so deeply, to be answered by a Father who cares enough to sit down and hash it out with me, whenever i might get the guts to do so.
and so i leave it at that. faith does not come to the weary, but to those who choose to persevere and trust that they might gain what has been offered through the sacrifice of the broken. that doesn’t make a ton of sense right now, but it might in a little while.
An Insight into Insanity 